We love a slow news day, as it gives us an opportunity to obsess over things others would just breeze by as if their brain need not explode.
We are not they.
Today, we’re sharing something both hysterical and tragic.
You know, like Criss Angel without a shirt.
If you are growing weary of our use of AI-generated art, we invite you to start your own blog. Good luck with that.
This item was pointed out by an alert Twitter follower, @Joe_4490.
It’s a book cover.
The book? “Craps: Beginners & Advanced Masterclass Guide to Win at the Gambling Game of Casino Craps” by Scott McMann.
It’s a real book, available at Amazon and other sites.
Are your loins girded? Here it is.
Shout out to “gambling games”!
Anything jump out at you? Beyond the dorky bow tie and the nearly empty glass, a signal cocktail service is lacking in this casino?
No, people don’t dress like this in casinos anymore, but that’s not it!
Spoiler alert: That’s not a craps table, that’s roulette.
That’s right. A book containing a “beginners and advanced masterclass” in craps has a roulette table on the cover.
That sound you hear is us scraping brain matter off our keyboard.
We read a sample of the book, and it appears fairly well-written, except for the butt-ton of random capitalization, such as in the very first sentence of the “Introduction of Craps”: “The ancient game of Craps was the most popular game on Planet Earth.”
One paragraph later, “The somewhat oddly named game is embedded in American culture like an Apple Pie or a Cheeseburger and fries and David Hasselhoff.”
Scott McMann may very well be an expert at craps, but he clearly isn’t a comedian, writer or stickler for details.
Then again, McMann’s alleged expertise evaporates with this gem, “Also covered in this short book is the basics of the game and advanced tips on how to control dice—to some degree —as you throw them.”
Dice control is utter bullshit—to an extreme degree—so, suffice to say, we won’t be purchasing this book.
If you enjoy embarrassing gambling-related gaffs, make sure to check out our story about the widespread problem of dice pips being depicted inaccurately. No, it’s not world hunger, but we can only take on so much. First, dice pip depiction, then world hunger.
If you spot other flagrant fouls related to gambling, casinos or Las Vegas, please send them our way. There are more slow news days than you’d think.